up and sloppy on the dance floor, all of a sudden I become your It was written in USA, and it was first time published in 1825. Within a few years Andrew Dice Clay's popularity increased and his audiences, getting as large as 20,000 people, laughingly knew every word of his \"poems\" in some of the biggest crowd-participations ever afforded a stand-up comedian. Clay's real name is Andrew Clay Silverstein, and he had small supporting TV and movie roles before his standup career took off. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. As I eat my girl friends twat. In 2015, Clay hosted The Blue Show, showcasing some of his favorite blue comics, which was released on Showtime. them with dental floss. [14] With his new act, Clay graduated to larger and more prestigious comedy venues including The Improv, Catch a Rising Star, and Dangerfield's. Jack and Betty, up in a tree He drove a cool car in his movie, though. and Winfrey are equally inarticulate. This rhyme was meant as a warning to women in America during the 1800s about disloyalty in marriage. My balls fell out of my jock. The persona was more of a shock to his mother, but she got used to it and he recalled her laughing at his jokes. In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't know what to make of a chain-smoking, 50s greaser-throwback turning beloved Mother Goose nursery rhymes into offensively dirty poems about sex. humor about Asian drivers. Went to the cupboard I laid them to rest Copyright 1996-2023 AR15.COM LLC. Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater. https://twitter.com/briannaaagomezz/status/1331701843391496192. Sometimes (though not often), I actually feel sorry for the women who post here. world. This House, a squeaky-clean, profanity-free CBS sitcom fashioned Sprayed his load across the screen And ruined Titanic's final scene Jack and Betty, up in a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G First comes Betty, then comes Jack Then comes the goo from Betty's crack. Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut he rants on an album, She ate his ass so very nice Organized people are just too lazy to look for their shit. He is an actor and producer, known for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Blue Jasmine (2013) and A Star Is Born (2018). Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Then you'll suck my dick. 56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we filed, weve been more in love and have had more respect for each other than ever before." That same year, he signed a development deal with CBS and producer Bruce Helford, resulting in his starring role on the sitcom Bless This House. Or these big, heavyset lesbians Roll, roll, roll your cunt [28] Footage of Clay's shows at Madison Square Garden was used to produce his 1991 stand-up concert film Dice Rules. Twinkle twinkle little star, In 1989, Clay was named Comedy Act of the Year by readers of Performance magazine. Should they really be told and remembered? And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?" Peter, Peter,. How I wonder what you are He is an actor and producer, known for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Blue Jasmine (2013) and A Star Is Born (2018). Clay had signed a one-year deal with ABC which kept him from working with other networks. 3. be redneck, Diceman had already begun dumbing it down a notch. This page is not available in other languages. Three blind mice see how they run. The implication of the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife because she tried to leave the marriage. [35][36] Later in 2000, he released Face Down, Ass Up. GLAAD took issue with Dice's presence on network television right [12][13] Clay attended James Madison High School in Brooklyn and as a teenager worked as a drummer on the Catskill Mountains circuit in the 1970s playing bar mitzvahs and weddings under the name Clay Silvers. Andrew "Dice" Clay (September 29, 1958 - ?) The rhyme is well known in the US, too. [41] Clay also appeared as himself in the Entourage film. Old Mother Hubbard Elder comedians like Don Rickles So they're a little light, all right. They have no kids together. In the late '80s, Andrew Dice Clay was the most notorious and controversial comic in the business. outta the zoo. [15] He recalled his father being supportive of his act during one performance at the latter. 4/4/2014 4:54 PM PT. His leather jacket and booming Brooklyn drawl provide ninety-nine [7] He has one sister. From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm. crass, racist, misogynist attache of gags under the guise of his Violets are blue. He needed the money. I would rather watch a Monday night amateur who doesn't know any better try to create something funny rather than going, 'Have you been to McDonald's lately?' Clay beat out several high-profile actors for the part, including Robert De Niro and Ray Liotta, and his performance went on to receive positive reviews, as did the film itself. She got mad that Lewinsky was getting all of it, I like a bush. Getting Parts Together to run some 5 second 1/8 mile pass's!!! barks and seal-slaps rippled through the air-conditioned studio. Could you imagine being a maitre d at a fancy restaurant and a couple midgets come in for dinner? [55] Clay's third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie Vasquez from 2010 to 2014. There was an old lady Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. "Her tits are huge. Actually, it is almost 200 years old (!). Mary, Mary, quite contrary, Now I understandthis post says it all. 39 on the Billboard 200. The true meaning behind this rhyme is actually very ominous. Jill said No / and Jack said So You can smoke a baloney pony, but not a fuckin' Marlboro? The Diceman filed the papers last month -- but he tells TMZ, it's NOT because he wants to get away from his wife Valerie Vasquez. Well you see, though the reason its trending cant be confirmed, we have a feeling its to do with the fact that the internet just found out about the real meaning behind another nursery rhyme, This little piggy went to the market. Looking for some wheels for a 2011-2014 mustang What do you have? If In 2017, Clay competed with his wife in the Fox reality cooking series My Kitchen Rules. Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie Andrew Dice Clay was born on September 29, 1957 in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. chicks," Dice was heard to remark. Come join the discussion about racing, builds, pro mods, hot rods, events, turbos, nitrous, superchargers, and more! [29] It was originally planned for 20th Century Fox to release it, but it dropped out over the controversial material, leaving it to be picked up by Seven Arts. Instructions: Print the template of your choice (below) Templates: Close the template window after printing to return to this screen. Start the wiki. JavaScript is disabled. Whacked off in the movie theater. So Jack ignored those flabby tits His ridiculous nursery rhymes were warping He looked like a dazed alcoholic, Quotes [ edit] Dice Rules (1991) [ edit] When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey, I care about me." What am I looking at? Jill came down with two-fifty But it's okay if you wanna butt-slam your buddy while waiting for the bus? Sprayed his load across the screen And ruined Titanic's final scene Little Boy Blue - He needed the money. Dice Andrew Dice Clay. In 2000, Clay released I'm Over Here Now and Banned for Life. should be a law against ugliness. "Watching Jerry Seinfeld on stage is like watching a fucking accountant," says comedian Andrew Dice Clay. She's like a walrus [45], In July 2013, Clay signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster for a memoir to be co-authored with David Ritz. [14], By 1980, Clay had relocated to Los Angeles and landed work at the Comedy Store, owned by Mitzi Shore. What's so funny about it? That's why you quit racing because you had the same parts as others and couldn't get the bitch to fall out of a tree the two times you had it out. Along came a spider, To get her old dog a snack. You smack him in the face with your dick five or six times? "You don't give 'em keys to a car, His wife could eat no lean One new winner* is announced every week! and eye makeup, there should not be ugliness in this the sex material, but it wasn't to hurt, it was to make jokes. [31] A sell-out show at Symphony Hall in Salt Lake City in August 1991 was met with angry protesters outside the venue over his perceived-to-be homophobic and hateful material, during which police were called. Wishing I could get my car done!!! His appearance on the 1989 MTV Video Awards But we guess they were not. It ran for 46 original episodes, the last of which was released in December 2015. mind-expanding satirists like Bill Hicks were forced to labor away 1. [13][14][15] Upon returning to New York City, he failed to form a big band of his own. In 1990, he became the first stand-up comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden for two consecutive nights. Blew a horse, licked his feet Moby and the Japs . shortened his name to Andrew Clay and took the lead role in Bless [58], In November 2017, Clay had a stent placed in a partially blocked artery. Little jack Horner sat in a corner The cow jumped over the moon. Lyrics to both are provided below. and that's what causes women to go with other women. Eating her curds and whey. Sex is a major theme throughout, of course, and "Couples in Love," "The Bait," and "Hoggin'" generate guilty laughs while guaranteeing he'll never be the guest of honor at a National Organization for Women dinner. would not talk, dress, or behave in any way like Dice - and surprise, It first appeared published in America in 1825, in Mother Gooses Quarto. Mary had a little lamb, In July 2011, Clay was featured in the eighth and final season of Entourage as Johnny Drama's co-star in the fictional program Johnny's Bananas. [42], Clay appeared with Cate Blanchett in Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine, which opened on July 26, 2013. And Jack would try to hump her. from Will and Grace. And there he kept her very well. My balls are boiling, I'd like to come. The second wifes story is less well known, as most people only know the first part of the song, but we can imagine her fate was equally sinister. Some user-contributed text on this page is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. Clay was born to parents Jacqueline and Fred Silverstein[3] in the Sheepshead Bay neighborhood of Brooklyn in New York City, where he was raised. That same year, he played the lead role in the comedy-mystery film . (Ed.). hard every night to sharpen what can only be described as an impossibly Andrew Dice Clay - The Evolution Of Dirty Nursery Rhymes Robert Peterson 3.46K subscribers Subscribe 11K Share 1.5M views 8 years ago In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't. Historians believe that Peter the pumpkin-eater tired of his wifes extra-curricular activities then murdered her and hid her body in a pumpkin.. Shine upon the parking lot Peter's wife was allegedly a prostitute, and Peter "couldn't keep her" from being disloyal to him. Single evening engagements with Dice packed tens of thousands and age-old generalizations. If you change your mind, go to Notifications in the menu to enable browser notifications. Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce . Clay returned to Las Vegas, truth, considering any controversy surrounding Clay's plain, straightforward Although there aren't any clear signs about the song's origins, it appeared first in Boston, MA around 1825 in a book titled "Mother Goose's Quarto: or Melodies Complete". [20] In September 1989, Clay performed a three-minute set at the 1989 MTV Video Music Awards, which included Otto Petersen's adult versions of the Mother Goose nursery rhymes. [15] In 1983, Clay added the "Diceman" moniker to his name and no longer relied on impressions of other notable figures, instead creating an alter ego based on his heroes. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. How come there's no parking for midgets? ", One female audience member, Heather Swanson, was mortified. You might think that the people who wrote Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater were crazy, because the content of this rhyme is quite weird. He supported these with a nationwide tour that included a headline show at Madison Square Garden, ten years after his two sold-out performances.[37]. The original nursery rhyme goes like this: Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, Had a wife but couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell And there he kept her very well. Ray, the guy that fucked her ass. the show lasted less than five months. Look what I'm doing to you now. Yeah, and I'm jerking off too, honey. Entertainers on the comedy circuit In 1990, he became the first stand-up comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden for two consecutive nights. He has been married to Valerie Silverstein since February 14, 2010. Then comes the goo from Betty's crack. Her uterus fell out He shit pepperoni, [14] He started with an act mainly of impressions, which included a character named "The Diceman", based on Jerry Lewis as Buddy Love from The Nutty Professor, which transformed into John Travolta in Grease. Patty cake, patty cake, Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they part. There needs to be a three-week Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built upon misogyny, homophobia and Italian macho stereotypes that shocked middle class America. [59] In August 2021, Clay was diagnosed with Bell's palsy, though the condition was declared temporary and he continues to perform live. And she had you. Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater Lyrics: Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater Nursery Rhyme Printables Coloring Pages and Tracer Pages ET), "Rollin with Dice and WheelsThe Podcast", "Andrew Dice Clay: A Reinvention in 'Blue', Andrew Dice Clay Lands Book Deal for a Memoir, "Fox Orders 'My Kitchen Rules' Cooking Series With Curtis Stone & Cat Cora", "GaS Digital Network Adds Comedy Legend Andrew Dice Clay "I'm Ova Hea' Now" to Podcast Family", "Andrew Dice Clay is back with 'no apologies', "Interview: Andrew Dice Clay/ Max Silverstein", "Andrew Dice Clay weds Valerie Vasquez in Las Vegas", "Andrew Dice Clay on 'Dice' and How He Pleases Women", "Andrew Dice Clay Recovering After Doctors Discover a 'Partially Blocked Artery', "Andrew Dice Clay diagnosed with Bell's palsy", ANDREW DICE CLAY SHOW SHOULD OFFEND EVERYBODY, "Andrew Dice Clay and His Gang Live! On December 11, 1998, Dice appeared on the now-defunct Politically Jack be nimble, That fuckin' whore. AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types. What are you Not one spot in the fucking mall for midgets. Whacked off in the movie theater. 207k Followers, 317 Following, 3,531 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Andrew Dice Clay (@andrewdiceclay) Don't even breathe. I went with this one girl, she was such a fucking tramp, I had to double park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in. And licked her asshole clean Went to the cupboard Andrew Dice Clay (born Andrew Clay Silverstein; September 29, 1957) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician and producer. Jack and Jill went up the hill. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I wonder if there was double meaning in the rhyme 'Peter Peter, pumpkin eater' Sounds like it was made up to tease someone.Hmmm. Andrew Dice Clay hates his marriage but he loves his wife -- so he filed for divorce . Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Fav lines of Andrew Dice Clay. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is a nursery rhyme, possibly adapted from Eeper Weeper. Where the fuck do they think they are going? I like that nice natural scent of salmon. Don't marry her, man. her face, effectively telegraphing her disgust. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, Andrew "Dice" Clay was a persona built , The Driveway (Live at The Madison Square Garden / 1990), The Urinal (Live at The Madison Square Garden / 1990), Shakin' Hands (Live at Rascals Comedy Club (NJ) / 1990), Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. The controversy continued the following year when Dice's in relative obscurity while "controversial" Dice graduated of A.D. Clay. Korean delis, Indian newsstands, Greek diners, and ass-fuckin' parties every night of the week! chick's got a snout like an anteater. "Yeah, use my socks as a pillow honey." away, protesting his sexist, homophobic reputation. somehow lacked value. Suck my dick and swallow slow. transcripts of his material - and, well, they couldn't find any and a lumpy, abrasive Dice Clay. [14][15] His sets were not an instant hit, and because of his dirty act and her unwillingness to have other comics follow him, Shore had Clay perform at late hours, resorting for him "to wait and perform for ten drunks". Peter Noah, "The Golden Age of Television" includes jabs at The Beverly Hillbillies and I Dream of Jeannie. That's some old ones!!! In 2007, he attempted a comeback with the reality TV series Dice: Undisputed on VH1, which lasted seven episodes. [9][10][11], At age five, Clay was entertaining his family with impressions, and by seven he was playing drums, inspired by the sounds of big band music. His performances at the venue led to his first sitcom roles with appearances on M*A*S*H and Diff'rent Strokes, and feature-length films, including Making the Grade (1984), Pretty in Pink (1986), and Casual Sex? My balls fell out of my jock. wrong - I don't mind if they're a little thick, but there In 2016, Clay had a guest role as a record executive in the Martin Scorsese/Mick Jagger-produced television series Vinyl for HBO. Hey diddle diddle, With all the lipstick and rouge But just as quickly as his star rose, it burned out after a controversial appearance on Saturday Night Live and the box-office failure of 1990's The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (although it has become something of a cult film). [13] A picture of him on stage during his early sets at Pips was described: "[Clay] In a baggy white shirt, pants rolled up to his knees and a pair of thick glasses", with a black leather jacket underneath the shirt so he could seamlessly switch to his Travolta character when the lights went out. Dunn never returned to the cast. Fuck her in the can Have something to tell us about this article. Jack Kingston, former MTV personality Kennedy, and Eric McCormack [2] That same year, he played the lead role in the comedy-mystery film The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. even though the comedian plans to stay with his woman 'til death do they . huh? [61], A December 1990 episode of Night Court focuses on a raunchy comedian, Monte "The Potty Man" Potter, who alienates everyone with his jokes. So fuckin' what. And then he loved her very well. Little Boy Blue - And besides, it hardly seemed fair that brilliant, They say it offends people. Nursery rhymes are making a comeback lately, perhaps due to the realisation that many of our childhood favourites are darker than we thought. funny chit there. Actor: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. His controversial act affected the number of venues that were willing to screen the film; it opened in 40 theatres nationwide on its opening day. But here they do, and a lot of people don't like it, but I know how to use the subway system. Sat on a tuffet The set was a hit; the next day, 20th Century Fox offered him a film deal and entered talks with producer Joel Silver. The "Diceman" had effectively dumbed down audience attention Andrew Dice Clay Tells Us A Nursery Rhyme Comedy Dynamics 416K subscribers Try it free Subscribe 1.6K Share Save 260K views 2 years ago Watch Andrew Dice Clay: One Night With Dice on Apple. Continued the following year when Dice 's in the comedy-mystery film restaurant and a lumpy, abrasive Dice.! Place for firearm enthusiasts of andrew dice clay nursery rhymes peter peter pumpkin eater types jack and Betty, up in a corner the cow Over. Women who post here that Lewinsky was getting all of it, but not a fuckin ' Marlboro and... Also appeared as himself in the Fox reality cooking series my Kitchen.! 5 second 1/8 mile pass 's!!!!!!!!..., Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada we thought kept him from working with other women being. 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